The current version of this story is on my portfolio.
Once upon a time there was an elder man who wore a brown cloth and white frail rope around his waist. When the brides began to chirp, the dogs began to whimper, and the sun peaked out from behind the clouds, you knew the man was approaching. This mystery man was known as Saint Francis. Saint Francis was a man of only kindness and love. His sole mission on this earth was to spread joy to all he encountered. Saint Francis had no enemies and was a friend to all.
Once upon a time there was an elder man who wore a brown cloth and white frail rope around his waist. When the brides began to chirp, the dogs began to whimper, and the sun peaked out from behind the clouds, you knew the man was approaching. This mystery man was known as Saint Francis. Saint Francis was a man of only kindness and love. His sole mission on this earth was to spread joy to all he encountered. Saint Francis had no enemies and was a friend to all.
Meanwhile St. Francis had this void
that he couldn’t seem to fill, one day he fell to his knees begging God to give
him some sort of sign on how to get rid of this void. God works in mysterious
ways and laid it on St. Francis’ heart to go into town.
St. Francis desperately followed this
feeling into town where he was greeted by a young boy. The boy knowing, he
could trust St. Francis begged, “St. Francis St. Francis boy am I glad to see
you” huffing for air in between sentences, “I have been waiting for you, I have
someone I want you to meet”. St Francis tripping on a couple stones along the
way follows the young boy to a fruit stand where an elder lady kindly greets
them, “Good Morning my name is Claire what can I help you with?” St. Francis taken
back by her beauty is at a lost for words. The young boy intervenes by claiming
he is very hungry and needs all the bananas, strawberries, and oranges she has.
The boy began to panic as he realized he had left his allowance back at his
house which was two miles away from the fruit stand. Quickly the boy pushed St.
Francis towards the stand and said “I’ll be back, keep her company” as his
voice slowly faded into the distance.
Although, St. Francis had little money to no
money to spare he collected all he had and reached his dry hand out to give to Claire. Claire gentle touched St. Francis’s hand to collect the money, and the rest
is history. The start of a great love story and a void no more. 
St Francis (Photo by Catholic Online)
Author’s Note
I started
this story by describing the traditional Saint. Francis but then created a
major plot twist. St. Francis was this perfect man traditionally and, in my
story, but I felt like he needed to share it with someone. In my story I describe
the start of a great love and how they first met.
Bibliography
“Saint Francis of Assisi” from The Book of Saints
and Friendly Beasts by Abbie Farwell Brown
Hello, Olivia! You have written a great story! I really appreciate the twist you have incorporated into the story. I was curious to know exactly what the cause of St. Francis’ void at the beginning of the story was. I cannot really say that I was expecting the void to be due to the fact that he did not have love in his life.
ReplyDeleteHi Olivia,
ReplyDeleteYou story was truly exceptional, and it was so much fun to read through. You do a great job of engaging your reader and keeping them interested throughout. I think my favorite part was the vivid imagery that you included. You crafted a great setting. I think your twist on the story was super interesting. Great job!
-Andy
Hi Olivia!
ReplyDeleteI liked that you gave St. Francis a love story. It was sweet and unexpected. When they meet it's kind of what I envision in a classic rom com meet cute! I wish you had given a little more information on St. Francis in your Author's Note as I am very rusty on my saints and couldn't quite place him. Great job!
Hey Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the twist you put on the story of St. Francis. It’s always fun when people re-tell old legends like this and add their own wrinkle to the story. Did you use one of the stories we’ve read so far this semester as your inspiration, or did you just come up with this one on your own?
Best,
JD
Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story! I only knew of St. Francis vaguely before the story. The part where he is "taken back by her beauty" made me smile a little bit because it made me think of my significant other. One thing I was wondering about is the moment where St. Francis hands Claire the money. Is he doing it because he just wants to touch her hand (in a not creepy way)?
Thanks,
Brady
Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI read this story, too! Your retelling of it was so original and wonderful. I really liked your use of dialogue, it flowed very smoothly and was a great element in your storytelling. I wonder how adding more setting and plot elements could add a layer of depth to your story; saints are often known and characterized by their work, and including some of these may develop your Saint Francis more. I was incredibly caught off guard how you ended the story. Because most saints are depicted as extremely devoted to piety, I did not at all expect that Saint Francis would find romance. This was a bit uncharacteristic of the other stories I read during the Saints unit, but a welcome twist! One small element that took away from your story for me was your opening sentence, "Once upon a time". It is very nostalgic of fairy tales and set a different tone than I think the rest of your direction went. This was fun to read, keep up the good work!
Hey there Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI like how you man the elderly man the main character. The strongest point to me was when the little boy forgot his money and you said the elderly man did not have much, but he gave what he had to Claire and with this the rest is history. This was a great start to the ending. Did you consider maybe adding maybe more to the ending of the story? Like what happened to St. Francis and Claire after they met? Did they end up being more or did they go separate ways? One suggestion I would say is add more onto the ending of this story. This is because I know I am intrigued to know more about the after affect of St. Fancis and Claire. I am confused as to the ending of the boy as well did he run back home with his fruits or did he just kind of disappear with the ending? I really enjoyed this story and look forward to your future stories!
Hey, Olivia!
ReplyDeleteI like how you used vivid imagery in your story. It really allowed me to get into the story and not think about other things like I usually do when reading. I'm not very familiar with the tale of Saint Francis, so maybe you could add some more detail about the source story in your author's note. Also, look at some of your grammar and punctuation in the story! It could use some work. Good luck with your semester!